Posted by INTRUDN on June 27, 2000 at 22:55:43:
The PC vs the CAR
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared
the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "if GM had kept
up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating, If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before
you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought
"CarNT", but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would
only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set
of Rand McNally road maps (Now a GM subsidiary), even though
they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option
would immediately cause the cars performance to diminish by
50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation
by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to
learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would
operate it in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.